The 34th Anniversary of my Elsa Peretti Heart Necklace

What I Wish for my 50th Birthday

My most favorite birthday present to date is a small gold ill-shaped heart necklace given to me by my parents on the occasion of my 16th birthday in 1990. The open heart hangs off balance a bit to the side on a delicate chain — a design of Elsa Peretti for Tiffany and Co.

My parents surprised me with this gift for my sweet sixteen which was a thing when I was that age, and I believe still is. They rarely surprised me with gifts. Having a birthday in late January, I usually went shopping with my mom and scored some post-holiday sale clothes which I was always more than happy to receive as sweaters have, and I suspect always will, be my thing. But this necklace, it was special. Admittedly so, part of the thrill of receiving it was opening the light blue Tiffany box complete with the white ribbon — excellent packaging and branding.

I put the necklace around my neck the day my parents gave it to me and did not take it off for over a decade. It was my thing — like little Orphan Annie’s locket or Kate Winslet’s Titanic necklace. I ascribed some kind of magical powers or perhaps magical thinking to it as I made the banal wishes of 16-year-old me on the necklace. At some point, I grew up (cliff notes version) and the heart necklace spent more time in my jewelry box and less time on my neck. My 17-year-old daughter sometimes wears it, but unlike a lot of the jewelry from my younger days, I have not fully given this necklace to her.

I have a big birthday coming up this month, or so I am told. However you do the math, old or new (I will never understand the new math, BTW) my Elsa Peretti heart necklace is turning 34, and this means that I am turning 50. I so clearly remember when members of the generation above me turned 50 — my aunts and uncles and both of my parents. We all blew out the candles on my dad’s cake at an extended family 50^th birthday dinner party together. My father looked 50 in his tweed sport jacket and gray hair. I don’t remember him having anything but gray hair. Perhaps because of this, a high school friend of mine named my dad Steve (as in Martin) and a college friend called him The Senator as in he looked like what we used to think senators looked like, you know — age 50 plus and all.

Me, my Elsa Peretti heart necklace and my dad aka The Senator in 1995.

When my mom turned 50, her older sister had professional pictures taken of the two of them together to mark the occasion. These photos became iconic (to me at least), and my aunt still has the sister’s series hanging in her house. I have the other framed print out of the series hanging in my office. I at least glance at it every day. I guess my mother looks 50 in those pictures. She actually looks almost exactly like I do now, and so I suppose I look 50.

My mom and her sister in a series of photos taken for the occasion of my mom’s 50th birthday in 1996.

One year after the sister’s 50^th birthday photo shoot, my mom was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. “Like being struck by lightning” was how I once heard her diagnosis described.  My mom spent what was left of her 50s being treated for the disease, open to whatever cocktail of medicines and treatments her doctors offered her, all the while still smiling like she did in those photos and living her life wishing for more time. She died at age 57.  Apologies for being Debbie Downer here, but hang in for a little bit longer and keep on reading. It gets better, or at least I hope it does.

With my big birthday looming, people have asked me some version of the typical big birthday questions. There is the “how do you feel about turning 50?”

I feel good, and I am knocking wood and whispering poo poo poo to myself as I type this as I am quite superstitious especially when it comes to thinking about the state of how I feel and my health in general. Watching your mother get a struck by lightning type of diagnosis at age 51 can do that do a person. My husband calls me a serious patient. That is true. I am more than on top of all of my checks ups. I get my vaccines; my scans and I do my research. I’ve been tested for all the genes. I login to my health portal the moment I get an email with any and all results. I worry. I am trying to do less of that. Perhaps I’ll try harder this year.

Then there is the “what do you want/wish for your 50^th birthday?” question. I giggle thinking of one of my favorite Steve Martin (aka my dad!) Saturday Night Live skits, A Holiday Wish.

I want to make it through my 50s and then some, actually a lot more than just some. I know that any one of us can get proverbially struck by lightning (and actually some people literally get struck by lightning) but I also know that people do not.

I think about my mother’s 85-year-old cousin who walks through Central Park every day to her office where she writes. Could I still be writing and walking like that every day at her age like I do now? Could I be her age? I wish, I wish.

I think about the 98-year-old woman featured on the cover of the Athleta catalog. She practices yoga nearly every day. Same. Dare I wish to still be practicing yoga at her age? To be her age or even close to her age? I wish, I wish.

I daydream, a lot. My dad used to tell me about his daydreams. One day last summer just a few weeks before he died as we sat side by side at his kitchen table, he told me he daydreamed about dancing with my daughter at her wedding one day. That sounded amazing to me. I want to do that for him, for my mother, for me. Let me dance at my children’s weddings. I wish, I wish.

That same daughter once asked me about what it was like to care for her and her older brother when they were babies. ”It sounds like a lot of work,” she said and I giggled. “I will help you one day with your babies,” I said through my giant smile. And then I paused for a moment, wishing to myself, please, please let me be there to help. Let me be a grandmother. I wish, I wish.

I think I may be watching shows on TV that are targeted for people older than me as I have seen one too many commercials showcasing those active adult retirement communities. Again, I giggle telling my husband that I can 100% see him thriving at one of these places spending his days carving out wooden birds wearing a hipster old man flannel shirt like the nice looking older adult male actor in the commercial. Could I be there with him too? Knitting scarves like I first learned how to do at summer camp at age 12? Could we grow old together? I wish, I wish.

I started wearing the Elsa Peretti open heart necklace this week as I was writing this piece. It still has its shine, and it still hangs perfectly off balance on my neck — nice job Tiffany and Co. I’ve been layering it with other pieces of jewelry that have become a part of my life over these last 50 years. I think the open heart looks good. It definitely feels good.

I find myself reaching for it in moments of pause as I write or walk or practice yoga or daydream, and I wish upon it once again as I did at age 16. My wishes are quite different these days as I approach the 34th anniversary of the necklace. They seem simple but also quite meaningful and so very important, to me at least. And so I wish and then I wish and I wish some more. 

I recently brought back the Elsa Peretti heart necklace in honor of its 34th birthday (and my 50th!)

New Life’s Accessories Podcasts Episodes!

I LOVED talking to NBA VP (and college friend!) Melissa Brenner on the pod. Melissa has been with the NBA for 26 years and she talked about her remarkable career journey with the league from how she started, how more and more women are taking on leadership roles and what it was like to navigate the the NBA during Covid. Remember the 2020 NBA Bubble? Melissa brought on her mother’s wedding ring to the pod, and we got into that. Melissa was an absolute joy to talk to. Listen to our conversation right here.

Best selling author, podcast creator and award-winning journalist, Jo Piazza came on the pod and brought along a locket she purchased for herself while on assignment in Rome. We talked about Jo’s super fascinating career as a journalist, what she thinks of the influencer culture, podcasting as a storytelling medium, how she has managed to write 12 books so far and what she may just see for herself as a future career shift. Jo is super sharp and hilarious and you can listen to this episode right here.

May I introduce you to Peaches, aka Peaches ‘n Diesel of Instagram. Peaches brought along the controversial and OG fanny pack, not the belt bag or the awkward cross-body bag, and the conversation took off from there. Peaches uses humor to navigate important topics like her own Dateline NBC murder episode, fashion emergencies like cutouts and micro shorts, as well as her new life as an empty nester. Listen in right here and then give Peaches a follow on the gram. You won’t be sorry you did.

New Recipe! My Grandmother Madee’s Ice Box Cake

I love this cake. My family loves this cake. Everyone loves this cake! You don’t bake it. You just put it in the ice box (aka the refrigerator) overnight and voila. My aunt included this treasured recipe in a cookbook years ago to raise money for a charity and since then so many people have been making it and loving it. And so here I am sharing it with all of you.

My grandmother’s ice box cake. Recipe included below

Ingredients

• 8 eggs separated

• 8 heaping tablespoons confections sugar

• 4 bars sweet German chocolate

• 2-3 dozen lady fingers

• 1 pint heavy cream

Directions

• Line a spring form pan with lady fingers around the side and bottom

• Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or microwave

• Beat the egg yolks until they are lemon in color

• Add the sugar slowly, bit by bit

• Add the melted chocolate to the mixture

• Beat the egg whites until they are stiff and then fold them into the chocolate mixture

• Pour into the spring form that you have lined with the lady fingers

• Refrigerate the cake overnight

• When ready to use, whop the cream and cover the top of the cake and serve

• You may freeze the cake in the spring form after refrigerating it overnight and use it a day later….Enjoy!