Three Names

I have gone by Rachel Levy Lesser (three names) since before Facebook was a thing and we learned everybody's maiden names. I’ve always had a thing for the girls and women I knew growing up who naturally had three names because they had two first names. In my own little world there was an Ellen Jane, a Sara Kate and a Mary Ann. Then there was the larger world of three namers — Mary Jane from Spider Man, Peggy Sue from Peggy Sue Got Married and Mary Tyler Moore from well, Mary Tyler Moore. I know that Tyler is not necessarily part of her first name but it is Mary Tyler Moore after all. THE Mary Tyler Moore whose statue of the hat toss up I visited in Minneapolis, also THE Mary Tyler Moore who I believe inspired many young women (myself included) to believe they really could “make it after all.”

Mary Tyler Moore (three names!!!)

A former boss first suggested I go by three names. I was newly married when I started working for her, and I was kind of straddling being Rachel Levy and Rachel Lesser. My boss suggested I go by Rachel Levy Lesser because people I would be working with knew me as the former and I was becoming more and more of the latter. This made sense to me, and so I changed my email signature to Rachel Levy Lesser. It started small. NBD.

Long story short, I wrote a book and then a lot of freelance articles and essays. My byline name was Rachel Levy Lesser. Work people and writing/author-y people knew me only as Rachel Levy Lesser. They called me by all three names. They introduced me to others using all three names. It kind of felt like a mouthful and also a bit like a persona or character, but I went with it.

My family and friends who knew me as the OG Rachel Levy were amused by the three names, calling me out for using all three as if I was playing a role of sorts. I think to them I would always be Rachel Levy and to my then new-ish married life/mom friends I was Rachel Lesser. Still, I stood by the three names.

I’ve noticed some three namers do so with a dash so as to combine the two last names into a hybrid of one. I know many two namers who kept their original given last name after getting married, opting not to take the last name of their spouse. And I know a lot of two namers who have full on taken their spouse’s last name as their last name.

Real Life with RLL is a safe space and 100% judgement free zone. I hope my readers (that’s you) feel comfortable in whatever name or number of names you have been given or chosen for yourself. I know people who have taken on a new combined family name, a new blend of their given names with dashes or otherwise.

I can say now nearly 25 years into being a three namer, that my three names feel just right, much like an aptly named friend of mine from childhood, Goldliocks (who needs only one name) — not too big and not too small.

My three names feel more me than any two names I believe ever could. First of all (no pun intended) I like my first name. It was my paternal great-grandmother’s name and my father used to tell me how happy it made his own father knowing that I had this family name. I never ever had a problem with it even during my childhood when friends wished for cooler first names like Anna (from General Hospital) or Mallory (from Family Ties.)

I like my second name because it was my parents’ last name and it makes me feel closer to them, like they are somehow with me with every email signature, article byline and those hello my name is tags. And I like my third name. It is the same as my husband’s after all and my children’s. It feels a bit like our team name, a team that I so love being on.

New Podcast Episodes!!

Speaking of three names, we just happened to have on a true three namer on the podcast. Her name is Dr. Mary Claire Haver. She is board certified OBGYN and she is at the forefront of a menopause movement that is having a moment and shines a spotlight on the importance of talking about and treating menopause. Dr. Haver is the author of The Galveston Diet. Her second book, The New Menopause, is coming out this month. Dr. Haver's accessory? Hint: a tool from her menopause toolkit. Which one? You'll have to listen to find out. It is well worth the listen.

Tullan Holmqvist (a two namer who has lived in six countries) also came on the podcast. She is kind of a rockstar. Tullan is a writer, actor, director, producer and investigator. She's the author of award-winning thrillers and screenplays including The Woman in the Park (I loved that book!) and Lacie's Secrets. She's written an Italian TV thriller series, and other essays and stories. As a private investigator, Tullan has worked on global fraud and art cases (think Thomas Crown Affair and Lupin!) Tullan shared with us a beautiful pair of Tibetan turquoise earrings which she once gave to her mother.