Life's Letters

Hello Friends!

It’s been a minute. I actually needed a minute behind the scenes here at Life’s Accessories HQ because well, life and also actually, accessories.

I’ve taken this proverbial minute to do some thinking and research about what resonates with my readers and also about my brand. I am told by those in the know that I do have a brand.

At the same time, I’ve had focus group like research come my way. My friend Jane, a super talented artist with whom I am teaching writing and art workshops wore her father’s cashmere jacket to my house as we worked one morning this week on my porch. Last week, my Aunt Linda gave me porcelain place cards that once belonged to my grandmother, Melly. When I opened the box, I was flooded with a 40 year old memory of setting the place cards out on Melly’s dining room table after she had written the names of her guests on them with a special china marker that rubs off, like the ink from the dry erase board I had on my dorm room door during freshman year of college. Setting the table and strategically arranging place cards is still one of my favorite past times. I think I got into table scaping before that was a thing while watching my mom and grandmothers set their tables. Aunt Linda gave me the old china marker along with the place cards. (I know!)

The place cards I had loved and then forgot about until they recently reappeared.

And then last weekend my camp friend Liza texted me a screenshot of a 35 year old postcard that my other grandmother, Mads sent to Liza during our last summer at camp. Liza had forgotten that Mads wrote to her. I never knew this correspondence existed. My grandmother wrote to my camp BFF to congratulate her on being elected color war captain of the blue team “may the best team win,” Mads wrote in her excellent penmanship. I was the captain of the other team, gray. The gray team won, but I seriously think there was some kind of sketchy scoring system going on that summer.

I learned/remembered several things from this vintage postcard. It cost 15 cents to send a postcard in 1990. My grandmother was the elegant Emily Post type woman that I knew her to be. I mean, who does that? She was also the formal woman that I knew her to be. “Dr. Deitz sends his best,” she wrote to Liza. Dr. Deitz was my grandfather. Liza never called him that. She called him Pads, like all my friends did.

A postcard I never knew existed — sent by my grandmother to my friend.

The text of the unknown postcard screenshot last Sunday morning sent me on a deep dive into the oversized box of letters, cards and notes I have saved for most of my life. One note that I almost know by heart was sent to me by Liza’s mom, Pat over two decades ago. Pat wrote to me shortly after my mom died to tell me, among other things, that I was “a good daughter.” I think about that note more than you would think. I’ve also taken pieces of it and adapted (with permission from the original note’s author) into my own note, which I have sent to friends when I deemed it appropriate.

A note I will forever treasure from my friend’s mom/my mom’s friend. Great penmanship there too.

I found a random birthday card that my dad sent to me in his signature all caps lettering and hand drawn smiley face. On the card he wrote that I was his “best daughter and BFF.” My dad had lots of bests — best daughter, best son, best brother et al. I actually giggled when I read the BFF part. I am not a fan of the parental/child friendship trope, but he used the term BFF as a true sign of endearment, connection and love. He called most of my friends my BFFs. He liked bests. It’s just very on brand dad, like Dr. Deitz is on brand Mads.

A classic birthday card signed from my dad.

My big box of letters contains cards, notes and letters sent to me on happy occasions, on sad occasion and on not for any particular reason occasions. It also contains a few letters not meant for me. There are letters my mom wrote to my dad when she was in college and they were dating. There’s a note my grandfather (Pads/Dr. Deitz) wrote to my husband (he signed it, Pads) when we got engaged. And there is a wedding RSVP/letter that my high school BFF sent to my parents. When I read these correspondences, I feel like an investigative reporter of sorts trying to translate a love language between other people that I love.

I wrote an entire book about accessories, and now that I think about it, I can’t believe I didn’t think of including a letter in there. These letters, notes, cards and correspondences may just be more precious to me than the necklace I received for being the captain of the gray team, which I wrote about in the book and which I feel a bit badly about because I seriously think the blue team should have won that year.

Reading old letters is more interesting/fun/meaningful to me than looking at old pictures. I like to think about what the letter writer was thinking/feeling at that time. I like to examine the handwriting, the signature, and in some cases the handwritten emoji (like my dad’s smiley face) before emojis were a thing.

I still write and send letters and cards in my own (albeit messy) handwriting and handwritten emojis. The xoxo is my version of my dad’s smiley face. I wonder if anyone has saved my letters?

I made myself put away the big box of letters last weekend after a couple of hours. I could have spent the entire day reading through them. Knowing that I can revisit them is a comfort blanket of sorts.

All this to say that these letters, these items, these accessories of life do seem to be my brand. And so I will continue to write about them right here on this very platform.

If you have a life’s accessory, item, letter……. whatever, please tell me about it and I just may feature it.

Thanks friends. I promise I won’t be gone again for so long next time!